Gerard Smith, we'll miss you, man.

On the 20th this month, the bassist of TV on the Radio, Gerard Smith, passed away from lung cancer. At age 34.

About a month before this, it'd been announced he wasn't going to be going on tour with the rest of the band. It was said then that he was battling lung cancer. It also said he had health insurance and was receiving excellent care. I already was scared then. I know lung cancer doesn't just "go away."

After that, I didn't hear anything about Gerard. I just sent the band my best wishes.

Finding out Gerard hadn't made it even a month though hit me very hard. Hell, it's even hard to try to type this. I'd been listening to their newest album when I decided to look at the TV on the Radio website, and saw this:

"We are very sad to announce the death of our beloved friend and bandmate, Gerard Smith, following a courageous fight against lung cancer. Gerard passed away the morning of April 20th, 2011. We will miss him terribly." - TV on the Radio

We will miss him terribly.

Going through various articles posted since his death makes the pain of it seem more real. It actually happened. I'm scared for what might happen to my favourite band now. I can't imagine how much pain they're going through. Gerard was a friend to them.

On videos I've seen of their live performances, Gerard always was in the back. Facing away, towards his amp. The first time I saw a video of it, I was a bit confused. I still to this day don't understand if it was something related to bass sound (I'm not a musician) or if maybe he was just shy. Either way, watching one of the videos now and just seeing him there, in the back, playing his bass, fills my eyes with tears.

RIP Gerard. <3