Just a pretty short post today, nothing too complicated. Mostly just procastinating working on my novel, or editing. I can't find the energy to look at my old work in the slightest, it's almost painful.
To make matters worse, I have absolutely no new story ideas to start working on. I just feel like I have nothing of any use in my brain to elaborate on, and to work on.
I don't like this feeling.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Proof I'm probably actually crazy.
Did you know as well as planning my wedding, as can be seen in the post here, I also have a general idea about what I want done at my funeral?
Don't get me wrong, I know that's a little crazy. Also, how can someone who has never even been to a funeral know what they want done at theirs? However, I do. I have some ideas. Not down the very last detail, but there are a few definites.
1) Elliott Smith music be played. This should not come as a surprise, but I think it still needs to be stated. Specifically "A Fond Farewell", a live version of "No Name #1" that I really liked (fun fact for people who aren't fans of him- he wrote 6 songs with the name "No Name #_"), and "No Confidence Man". At the very least those, with every single other song to be considered.
2) I don't want people all sadface over me, mostly because that'd make me feel bad. So everyone has to wear purple, because it's my favourite colour, and if they really were doing it for me...
3) Chocolate. Pizza. Cake. That is all.
Don't get me wrong, I know that's a little crazy. Also, how can someone who has never even been to a funeral know what they want done at theirs? However, I do. I have some ideas. Not down the very last detail, but there are a few definites.
1) Elliott Smith music be played. This should not come as a surprise, but I think it still needs to be stated. Specifically "A Fond Farewell", a live version of "No Name #1" that I really liked (fun fact for people who aren't fans of him- he wrote 6 songs with the name "No Name #_"), and "No Confidence Man". At the very least those, with every single other song to be considered.
2) I don't want people all sadface over me, mostly because that'd make me feel bad. So everyone has to wear purple, because it's my favourite colour, and if they really were doing it for me...
3) Chocolate. Pizza. Cake. That is all.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
In which Elliott Smith is the reason for everything good
I think it's a pretty well known fact that I adore Elliott Smith. If it isn't a well known fact, it should be, seeing as I don't think I go a day without listening to at least 3 songs by him. I've listened to nearly everything he released, and know the words to most of it. There isn't a piece that he did that I don't like, and that I can't find meaning in.
However, I really don't think I've explained to everyone just why I love him so much. I figured, though, that I might as well give it a try.
I first discovered Elliott Smith through a video, a cover of his song Angeles, that I will link here. It's actually a very well done cover, and this is coming from someone who hates when people cover songs that mean a lot to them. Upon hearing it, I immediately downloaded the cover, and the original version of Angeles by Elliott Smith. I didn't listen to another song for about a month.
I was in the 10th grade at the time, in my first real, meaningful relationship (doesn't mean I didn't have a teeny bit of a crush of the boy in that video, though ;) ), and didn't quite have a grasp on what kind of person I was yet- including what kind of music I actually enjoyed. It also was right after a major life-changing event for me, which challenged a lot of my preset limits I'd placed for myself. In short, the song was a major impact.
Despite the song affecting me so much, it was still a few months before I looked up more of Elliott Smith's work. It wasn't until January 24th, 2009 that I did. It was the afternoon of the day that the already mentioned boyfriend was going to be flying out to see me for the first time, and I was extremely nervous. I had listened to Angeles a few times, and decided for the first time to look up a few more of his songs on YouTube. I found Miss Misery and Twilight, listened to both of them, and fell in love. I downloaded them and tossed them onto my iPod, and was out the door.
The meet-up definitely did not go as planned, a story that is definitely best saved for a new post. Needless to say though, it was what brought me into the worst two month period of my life. Over the next few days, all I did was listen to the three Elliott Smith songs I had, before I went back to YouTube, typed "Elliott Smith" into the search bar, and listened to new song after new song, clicking "Favorite" as I went. By the time the week was done, I'd found at least half of all of his music, and stopped myself from doing something I'd extremely regret.
So essentially, the reason I really, truly love Elliott Smith so much, is more than just a love for his voice. It's more than a deep connection to his lyrics. It's that without this man's music, I wouldn't even be alive today.
I love you, Elliott. <3
However, I really don't think I've explained to everyone just why I love him so much. I figured, though, that I might as well give it a try.
I first discovered Elliott Smith through a video, a cover of his song Angeles, that I will link here. It's actually a very well done cover, and this is coming from someone who hates when people cover songs that mean a lot to them. Upon hearing it, I immediately downloaded the cover, and the original version of Angeles by Elliott Smith. I didn't listen to another song for about a month.
I was in the 10th grade at the time, in my first real, meaningful relationship (doesn't mean I didn't have a teeny bit of a crush of the boy in that video, though ;) ), and didn't quite have a grasp on what kind of person I was yet- including what kind of music I actually enjoyed. It also was right after a major life-changing event for me, which challenged a lot of my preset limits I'd placed for myself. In short, the song was a major impact.
Despite the song affecting me so much, it was still a few months before I looked up more of Elliott Smith's work. It wasn't until January 24th, 2009 that I did. It was the afternoon of the day that the already mentioned boyfriend was going to be flying out to see me for the first time, and I was extremely nervous. I had listened to Angeles a few times, and decided for the first time to look up a few more of his songs on YouTube. I found Miss Misery and Twilight, listened to both of them, and fell in love. I downloaded them and tossed them onto my iPod, and was out the door.
The meet-up definitely did not go as planned, a story that is definitely best saved for a new post. Needless to say though, it was what brought me into the worst two month period of my life. Over the next few days, all I did was listen to the three Elliott Smith songs I had, before I went back to YouTube, typed "Elliott Smith" into the search bar, and listened to new song after new song, clicking "Favorite" as I went. By the time the week was done, I'd found at least half of all of his music, and stopped myself from doing something I'd extremely regret.
So essentially, the reason I really, truly love Elliott Smith so much, is more than just a love for his voice. It's more than a deep connection to his lyrics. It's that without this man's music, I wouldn't even be alive today.
I love you, Elliott. <3
Monday, February 14, 2011
My wedding will be the best type of wedding.
I have officially planned out my wedding completely.
I was always the type who never wanted to have kids, which I still don't. But I still want to get married, just to say I am. The benefits of being married definitely may have something to do with it to. But to say I've been the type to plan out their wedding down to the very last detail would most definitely be wrong.
Until now.
I have decided I want my wedding to be Mario themed. I've got it all worked out, too.
I will be dressed as Princess Peach. My husband will be Mario. I think that part was easiest to work out.
My maid of honour will be Princess Daisy. I haven't decided who is actually my maid of honor, but they must be prepared to dress up as Daisy. My bridesmaid will be Toadette, and I haven't decided who else. There are definitely a few minor female characters I could pull from, mainly Queen Rosalina.
The best man will of course be Luigi, with the other groomsman being Toad, and with many options on others that could be used.
The guy who conducts the wedding (I don't know what you call this guy. A minister? It's not a priest, no religion in my wedding) will dress as Bowser. And the wedding will be in, yes, Bowser's Castle. As will the reception.
Super excited.
I was always the type who never wanted to have kids, which I still don't. But I still want to get married, just to say I am. The benefits of being married definitely may have something to do with it to. But to say I've been the type to plan out their wedding down to the very last detail would most definitely be wrong.
Until now.
I have decided I want my wedding to be Mario themed. I've got it all worked out, too.
I will be dressed as Princess Peach. My husband will be Mario. I think that part was easiest to work out.
My maid of honour will be Princess Daisy. I haven't decided who is actually my maid of honor, but they must be prepared to dress up as Daisy. My bridesmaid will be Toadette, and I haven't decided who else. There are definitely a few minor female characters I could pull from, mainly Queen Rosalina.
The best man will of course be Luigi, with the other groomsman being Toad, and with many options on others that could be used.
The guy who conducts the wedding (I don't know what you call this guy. A minister? It's not a priest, no religion in my wedding) will dress as Bowser. And the wedding will be in, yes, Bowser's Castle. As will the reception.
Super excited.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Happiness is not genetic.
I just wanted to clear this up for people some people: just because my sister and mother are both wonderful at being happy, doesn't mean I am. Yet just because I have my off days, doesn't mean I'm a basket case who is to be avoided.
I've never claimed to be a particularly emotionally stable. This is not some kind of cry for attention, as I really am typically content, even happy. I just never claimed to be good at it. There are days where getting out of bed and brushing my teeth is a painful chore. There are days I can't sleep because of the overwhelming fear of what will be there when I wake up.
But that isn't most days. I do get up most days, and I do deal with it. I'm not even horrible to be around on those days. Even pretty fun at times. On the bad days that aren't bad enough to justify hiding from the world, I even try my hardest to at not least wallow in my unhappiness with other people.
I say this because yesterday was not a good day. It wasn't the worst, at all. But it's not something I'd rank as the best. I dealt with it, and I didn't force it onto anyone else. Maybe I didn't do it the best I could have, but I did try. Perhaps it worked, perhaps it didn't.
Today is better. I just wish people realized I can't always be better. There are limits to what I can do.
I've never claimed to be a particularly emotionally stable. This is not some kind of cry for attention, as I really am typically content, even happy. I just never claimed to be good at it. There are days where getting out of bed and brushing my teeth is a painful chore. There are days I can't sleep because of the overwhelming fear of what will be there when I wake up.
But that isn't most days. I do get up most days, and I do deal with it. I'm not even horrible to be around on those days. Even pretty fun at times. On the bad days that aren't bad enough to justify hiding from the world, I even try my hardest to at not least wallow in my unhappiness with other people.
I say this because yesterday was not a good day. It wasn't the worst, at all. But it's not something I'd rank as the best. I dealt with it, and I didn't force it onto anyone else. Maybe I didn't do it the best I could have, but I did try. Perhaps it worked, perhaps it didn't.
Today is better. I just wish people realized I can't always be better. There are limits to what I can do.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Minecraft poem!
I wrote this for creative writing, posting it here so I can link it and share it with everyone
Build, build, build
The sandstone dragon rises
Watch for creepers, watch for creepers!
SSSSSSSSSS BOOM!
Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild.
Light up the area; stay safe
Stop the skelly, stop the skelly!
Pew, pew, pew!
Up, up, up
Get on top of the wall
Eeeck, spider! Eeeck, spider!
HISSSSS, HISSSSS!
Day, day, day
The sun is nearly up.
Meh, a zombie. Meh, a zombie.
Stab, stab, poof.
The sandstone dragon rises
Watch for creepers, watch for creepers!
SSSSSSSSSS BOOM!
Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild.
Light up the area; stay safe
Stop the skelly, stop the skelly!
Pew, pew, pew!
Up, up, up
Get on top of the wall
Eeeck, spider! Eeeck, spider!
HISSSSS, HISSSSS!
Day, day, day
The sun is nearly up.
Meh, a zombie. Meh, a zombie.
Stab, stab, poof.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A brief introduction, or something like that.
Hey there everyone! I'm Brae, or as some people call me, Kyi. Or even as another group of people call me, Kali! I've got all sorts of names, it's like a box of magical surprise. Which is sort of what this blog is going to be!
We were supposed to set these up for the creative writing class I'm taking right now. However, that idea was annexed for a variety of silly reasons, something about "FOIP." I don't know what that is, and I don't particularly care, other than I already had set up my blog and wanted to be able to do something with it. So, this was born.
This is mostly as I said before, going to be a mismatch of whatever is going on in my mind at the moment. A combination of some of my own writing, just some rants, whatever that is floating around in my mind- you name it, it'll show up at some point.
I decided to start out with one of the obligatory "Hi, my name is *blank* and I enjoy *blank*. Sort of like those name games you had to play on the first day of every year back in elementary school, only a bit more high tech, and probably a little bit less personal. We've got the name covered, so I guess I'll jump in on elaborating what sort of things I do.
First off, as I'm sure was evident by now, I adore the internet. I genuinely feel it's one of the greatest things people have right now. I like YouTube, I like social networking (Hi there, Twitter!), I like sharing my thoughts with whoever would like to hear them. I'm also a huge fan of writing. It's one of the few things that has stayed as a constant hobby for me throughout my life, ever since I could spell my name. It's the only career that I ever dreamed of ever being able to have a future in. Generally, it's the only way I get the massive jumble of ideas I have sorted into a way that makes sense.
Anyway, that's it for now, and thanks so much for anyone who just stumbled into here and decided to stay- it means a lot!
We were supposed to set these up for the creative writing class I'm taking right now. However, that idea was annexed for a variety of silly reasons, something about "FOIP." I don't know what that is, and I don't particularly care, other than I already had set up my blog and wanted to be able to do something with it. So, this was born.
This is mostly as I said before, going to be a mismatch of whatever is going on in my mind at the moment. A combination of some of my own writing, just some rants, whatever that is floating around in my mind- you name it, it'll show up at some point.
I decided to start out with one of the obligatory "Hi, my name is *blank* and I enjoy *blank*. Sort of like those name games you had to play on the first day of every year back in elementary school, only a bit more high tech, and probably a little bit less personal. We've got the name covered, so I guess I'll jump in on elaborating what sort of things I do.
First off, as I'm sure was evident by now, I adore the internet. I genuinely feel it's one of the greatest things people have right now. I like YouTube, I like social networking (Hi there, Twitter!), I like sharing my thoughts with whoever would like to hear them. I'm also a huge fan of writing. It's one of the few things that has stayed as a constant hobby for me throughout my life, ever since I could spell my name. It's the only career that I ever dreamed of ever being able to have a future in. Generally, it's the only way I get the massive jumble of ideas I have sorted into a way that makes sense.
Anyway, that's it for now, and thanks so much for anyone who just stumbled into here and decided to stay- it means a lot!
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