Lonely Night Storytime

I've said it before and I'll say it again - I don't tend to filter myself on my blogs (this one, and my Tumblr). 

I have been SORT OF filtering though. I have mentioned it briefly on here (although mostly to say I felt it was too private to blog about) and I've accidentally let my emotions get the best of me on my Tumblr as well, despite my best intentions. I also believe I wrote a very... heartfelt, upset post on my previous, now deleted blog back in 2010 when an...incident... occurred. I have decided tonight, though, I will dedicate a real blog post to this. A real, actual, not ranting, not whining, blog post to it. I have been avoiding doing so since I have a tendency to only blog when I feel extremely emotional in one way or another - overly happy, or overly upset. Most of the time it is overly upset. Today there is no extreme emotion. There is a little sadness, but it's mostly loneliness, so I think it will not cloud the post in a negative light at all.

So yeah. I'll explain what "it" is first.

I have a boyfriend.

There, I said it. I said the scary words. :P No, no. It isn't scary. I just tend to not talk about him a lot is all! He's very much a fan of... privacy. I guess I like privacy but I also really need to be able to share to my blog. So I will be keeping things at a mostly surface level I suppose! I just wanted to write about him for a bit though. I'm lonely and miss him quite a bit at the moment. He lives in Florida and I live in Alberta, so it's a bit difficult sometimes, particularly since he has an absolutely insane sleeping schedule compared to me. ^^

I guess I wanted to start out by telling you guys about him and how we met and got together! I don't think telling you his name would do a lot since well, none of you know him unless I've told you about him already, and at that point you do know his name. :P We actually met, as absolutely neeeerdy as this is going to sound, playing World of Warcraft. We were in the same guild at the beginning of Wrath of the Lich King, which would have been ALMOST 4 YEARS AGO. I'm sure I saw him around in guild chat, but the first time we actually talked was a raid we did... Obsidian Sanctum I think. Oh god. It's so weird how some things are remembered, hey?

So yeah. Obsidian Sanctum. I get invited, my boyfriend at the time gets invited (he is a whole different story, good god, do not get me started on that fucker) and we go in. My boyfriend at the time (I will call him Mr. Loser-Ex) starts being an idiot, I suppose. I don't remember much of that part. I was just being me - when I raided I turned into a bit of an asshole, but since I was with my friends I like to imagine I was being a FUN asshole. I'm sure if you ask my boyfriend he'll say I was just being an asshole. Mr. Loser-Ex though, is apparently being super duper flirty and shit with me, so my boyfriend makes that assumption we're dating. He does message me and talk a little though, but is distant enough that it isn't like he's hitting on another guy's girlfriend... until Mr. Loser-Ex said SOMETHING, god, I don't know what I WISH I REMEMBERED THIS, I'm writing this part off my spotty memory and my boyfriend's retelling, and my boyfriend decides all bets are off, etc, starts hitting on me.

So yeah. From that point on, he and I are talking, flirting, etc, but he makes it very clear, and HERE IS MY EXACT QUOTE "It's not like we'd ever actually be going out anyways"... which sounds SO mean reading it! Oh my goodness! It wasn't like that - I was worrying about something, he was trying to reassure me... it DID actually really upset me at the time though I will admit. Somewhere in our talking flirting fun, I broke up with Mr. Loser-Ex. Before the "not like we'd ever actually be going out" quote, but... that was after quite a bit of talking, so. I will also say right now - a few weeks after that quote, we started actually going out officially. HA. I win.

That was... over 3 years ago. Almost 3 and a half? Maybe? I'm not good at time. Either way. QUITE A LONG TIME. Some of it was less good than others (The Incident That Shall Not Be Talked About of 2010 that I am not allowed to ask about anymore, for one) and there were sort of... off times but overall A LONG TIME.

Plus, he's super. Maybe this is my ultra low self esteem talking here, but I sort of wonder sometimes how someone as terrible looking and with such an awful personality as me ended up with someone who is actually this attractive and this fantastic to be around and this great and just UGH. I sound like a middle schooler when I start talking like this, I know. I literally FEEL like I am a middle schooler gushing about that kid they have a crush on. -_- It isn't like that though. I just get so happy when I think about him I can't help but gush!

I'll stop now. I started writing this really since I was a little lonely and wanted to remember all the great things about my boyfriend, and it worked. I remember all the great things. TOO WELL. I am officially sitting here like "Yeah, he's great AND I AM GOING CRAZY MISSING HIM RIGHT NOW." so that's almost counter productive. Almost. I am only a little bit sad still. I'm happier though from happy thoughts. :)

Until next time, everyone!