BEDA: I complain a lot.

This is my second last Friday at work and I don't have the slightest bit of energy.

You guys know how it gets, right? It's exhausting to be working at a job you don't really...want... to be doing. I won't complain about that here though. I'll even try to go to the rest of this post without complaining! It will be a challenge, but I can do it. I will only think of happy things.

Reasons to be Happy

• I have a party tonight! While I am not very much of a party person, and don't enjoy staying out late a whole lot, tonight is my party night. I should hopefully get to see some of my friends I haven't seen in awhile. Plus I see my friends this weekend and I like friends
• I leave for Florida in EIGHT SLEEPS. A WEEK TOMORROW. Oh my goodness. This is insane. I'm starting to hover between absolutely petrified and over-the-top excited. 
• I get to make a big makeup order before I go back to school.
• I had french fries today because I didn't want to behave, and they were delicious.

Lots of reasons.

Still not happy to be at work!

BEDA: titles are silly

I always choose the worst posts to turn in series'.

I have tomorrow's post (supposed to be today's!) all planned out. I literally spent an hour on it at work. And no no, it's still not done. Oh well.

Only 6 more days of work! I am so excited. I don't have any energy for my last days. I don't know how I'm going to push through it. On the plus side, I'm going out tomorrow night and I am in Lethbridge this weekend to see some of our friends! I like going to Lethbridge when I'm in Calgary. We're buying me a freezer to store my food in. ^_^

Other than that nothing exciting is happening. I need to start pre-writing posts for when I'm in Florida so maybe I should make a start on that tomorrow. Whoooo knows.

BEDA: The second post

I am sitting here with my Crest white strips in since I need to whiten my teeth and decided, what other time would be more perfect to write the promised second post today than right now!

I am currently on a bit of a not actually good music binge. At this exact moment, I'm listening to Taylor Swift's new song and UGH. It is way too addictive. I wish I knew why, but it is totally my favourite song for the...week, or something. It is just so catchy and it's upbeat and even though is, as with all Taylor Swift songs, a breakup song, it makes me happy... even if I really am not even remotely going through a breakup right now. O.o

Other than that there has been other Taylor Swift songs and other generally less than stellar pop-ish, dance-y music. It puts me in a good mood, and I enjoy good moods!

Okay. Time to take these white strips off. I did actually have a nice emotional long blog post planned, but it's only half done. You get that tomorrow I suppose. I need to sleep as I am awake EARLIER THAN USUAL tomorrow. Goodnight!

BEDA: Oh my goodness I am late!

I forget yesterday's post!! I will try to make up for it by writing two today.

I am still being passive aggressively avoided and it is still making me very uncomfortable. I am unsure what I could have done to have this sort of thing happen, but no matter. I can get over it. I'm feeling a little bit anxious today for some unrelated reasons, but I can't really explain why. I'm sure it will pass - it's mostly just that nervous pit that forms in your stomach and flops around a bit.

I had a team meeting today, it was my last one. It was sort of weird. I'm still really excited to be done work though. 7 and a half days! Squeeee. I just want it to be over. I don't have the energy for this anymore. Especially today, I've been dealing with massive food cravings. Right now, the only thing that I want is some of my mom's baking. Either a frog (which is not a literal frog, it is a chocolate-y dessert), her vanilla fudge, or the signature chocolate chip cookies... Not a good craving day. :(

I will write another blog post later tonight, of something of substance maybe? Hopefully!

BEDA: Being avoided.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was being avoided. And I can't say I really know better.

I really do not enjoy when people passive aggressively avoid me. I don't enjoy being avoided at all actually, but I can kind of understand it from people I know I've done something to upset. Mostly since a majority of my friends are honest enough to tell me when I'm being a bit of a whiny idiot. So it's always a bit of surprise when someone decides to just get upset over nothing and not tell me. Either way, I will get over it. I just very much do not enjoy it.

Since I'm feeling all better this week, I decided to go to work! Yay. I'm a little bit exhausted, that's for sure, but I feel okay being here. I think I'll survive. I only have 10 more days of work left so that's pretty exciting! And I leave for Florida in 12 sleeps. :) I am getting awfully excited. I should make a list of things I still need to do. I keep telling myself I'll make one, and I start it and I never finish!

Things Left to do Before Florida 

• Get my toenails done! My sister and I have this booked for the 24th right after work. I mostly like it since I like talking to my sister and I like relaxing, and I'm wearing a lot of sandals when I'm down there so I consider this kind of necessary.
• Get my eyebrows done - also booked for the same day as above.
• Haircut! I haven't gotten my haircut from my favourite hair stylist since before London, so I'm going to go see him on the... 21st? 22nd? He's great. He's super nice and super good with my hair.
• Jeans! I want to buy a pair of jeans before I go. We're going shopping on the 15th for that. ^^
•  A few more things I will also be picking up on the 15th
• Dyeing my hair a little bit darker - I already bought the hair dye and am until closer, to avoid my hair being super destroyed from dyeing it.

I think that's it. I'm sure I can add to it as I think of things. For now though, I will continue playing catch up on the work that I missed. I will see everyone tomorrow! <3 

BEDA: Sleepy sleepy!

I am only going to say this once - 4AM. I HAD TO STAY UP UNTIL 4AM.

I had a pretty good evening last night. After I posted my blog, I watched Nightmare Before Christmas on Skype with a friend of mine and hung out and talked to him after. Hence the staying up until such a ridiculous hour. Now because of that, I am operating on far too little sleep, and far too little brain capacity. I swear to god, I will go to bed early tonight if it kills me.

I went out with my sister today. I had a few things to buy and I did not get any of them - figures. I did get to eat butter chicken though. I know, I know, I've been so good food wise, but I wanted it so bad. AND IT TASTED SO GOOD.

Okay. It's bedtime. Goodnight everyone :3

BEDA: NOT SICK.

YES. I am healthy-ish again. Life is fantastic.

I feel okay today. I've kept all my food down and I went out and I'm just 100% better. It was an exciting day. I bought tinted moisturizer and concealer. Also we went to Costco and bought... food. I like food. We're going to make a cereal I can eat soon, since I haven't had cereal in awhile. I've also been talking to my friend whom I talked to again yesterday, so that's exciting. We're going to watch a movie once I finish this (likely short) post.

I don't know really what else to say. I'm in a good mood with a few weird feelings in the back of my head but I don't know how to voice any of them...

Can I count this as a blog post?

BEDA: Reconciliation.

Yup... Still sick...

I went to work this morning and got sick, so I just came home again and slept for 4 hours. So yeah. If I am not better tomorrow or Sunday, I am going to be so mad. I'm so bored of being sick. I'm tired of only eating soup, tea, and diet ginger ale. I just want to be back to normal. :(

Today, other than being ill, has been an interesting day I suppose. I actually got a message on Skype from someone I had a pretty big falling out with about 2 and a bit years ago, and have barely talked to since. We had mutual friends online and stuff, and ran in the same group on weekends, so we still had contact, but it was rather... icy, to say the least. Then he just sort of disappeared (I don't really know the exact circumstances behind that) and boom. No contact for about 2 years. Anyway, I had him on Skype still, and I've seen him online a bit sometimes and I saw him online today. I didn't think much of it (I was still preoccupied about an argument from Wednesday with someone, and being unhappy with another person whom I will still not talk about on my blog) and went about my business.

Suddenly, the little Skype sound! I look over and yup - it's him. "Have a minute?" Well, sure I did. So we talked a little. He informed me he would be returning to a game we both played (which I actually don't play anymore but likely will be playing again due to some PEER PRESSURE ZOMG) and also that he was sorry and took complete responsibility for our falling out... Wow. Well then. I of course, still blamed myself and told him so. We talked a bit more, I agreed to let him blame himself and be quiet about my own guilt, and just... yeah. It was weird. I went to take a nap after 20 minutes or so since I still don't feel that great, but yup. We talked. It was weird. I'm not sure if I should talk to him again.

I don't really have the energy to worry about that right now. Between trying to get better and dealing with suddenly-distant people, I really don't know how much more room my mind has.

If I'm feeling better tomorrow, I'm going to go to Sephora I think. I want to buy tinted moisturizer. And looking at makeup makes me happy. I like being happy. Maybe that'll help me decide what to do about a few things.

See you all tomorrow. <3

BEDA: Still sick, less grouchy.

YES! I am still sick today.

I went to work this morning as I usually do (despite feeling absolutely AWFUL) and did a bit of work for about an hour and 45 minutes, when my boss came over to my desk. I apparently looked very ill still. She told me to go home. I went home. I did a meeting over the phone, I took a nap. I went to the low carb store and nearly threw up in the car on the way there and on the way back. I came home and ate some soup. It was a really, really thrilling day.

I'm less grouchy today, on the plus side. I have something I sort of want to whine about but I am about 95% sure that the person reads or at least COULD read my blog, so I won't. I'll silently be a grouchypants. I'll just say in the most vague terms that I am not good at people or reading their feelings or their emotions >.< Other than that and the obvious my body is trying to kill me, I'm doing pretty well today. I think I'm going to post pictures of my new hair and new glasses tomorrow if I look any less ill. I like my glasses. ^_^

I wish I had more motivation when I was this ill. What other things do I have to say? The only thing I can focus on is how much I'm ready to go back to bed!

See you all tomorrow <3

BEDA: Grouchy and sick.

I am a very, very icky Brae today. :(

I have the flu. I had to stay home today I was so sick, so that wasn't fun. I hate the flu. I did appreciate getting a shit ton of sleep I mean, but not being able to keep any food down, having to drink stupid diet ginger ale, and being very lonely does not make for a happy Brae. Basically, I read most of the day, and took a bath, and slept, and yeah. Nothing exciting.

I did get my hair dyed last night! I changed my mind at the last minute and went with chestnut brown... I think I want to dye it once more a little darker, since my bleach job went bad (OH SO BAD) so the color just isn't QUITE perfect - but I like it still. It'll work for a few weeks until I can get it a bit darker.

I'm not particularly happy again tonight, so it's going to be a short post again. There's nothing particularly wrong, exactly, just having lots and lots of conflicting feelings floating around in my head. I promise I'll be back to myself soon. Until tomorrow, everyone. <3